Did You Find Joy?
by LinariteLavanya
Summary: The Sanzo-ikkou are ordered to escort two young women on a mysterious mission to stop an ancient monster from being released. But time is running out, in more ways than one. Read and review, please. -ON TEMPORARY HIATUS-
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so here it is, folks. My Saiyuki fic. It's going to be a great story, I promise. Just give it a chance, okay? **

**Also, just to cover some basic questions some of you may have: Yes, there are OCs. No, there probably won't be yaoi; it's not that I oppose yaoi, but I'm not very good at writing it yet, so I'm trying to focus all my yaoi-writing skills on my Merlin fic at the moment. **

**Anyhow, read and review! :D**

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><p><em>Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions, and that their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, "Did you bring joy?" The second was, "Did you find joy?"<em>

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><p>"Why the hell does it have to be us?" Gojyo complained as they drove through the forest. "Isn't there someone else that can do it?"<p>

Sanzo ignored him, even though he was thinking the same thing. But Kanzeon Bosatsu had been extremely insistent; it had to be done and, for some reason the Merciful Goddess hadn't explained, it had to be them.

_What a pain in the ass_, thought Sanzo.

"I'm hungry~" Goku said suddenly. "Can't we stop and eat something?"

"Stop thinking with your stomach for one, _bakazaru_."

"Don't call me a monkey!" Goku tackled him.

"Get the hell off!"

"Nice day, isn't it?" Hakkai smiled serenely as Goku and Gojyo fought in the backseat.

"..."

"Stupid cockroach kappa!"

"Idiot monkey!"

"They certainly are lively today, aren't they? Sanzo?"

"..."

"_Bakazaru_!"

"_Erokappa_!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU BASTARDS!"

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><p>"Aya-chan…Aya!"<p>

She blinked sleepily, and focused on the person leaning over her. "Keiko?"

The young woman sighed. "Ayame…"

"I'm fine." she said shortly, sitting up.

Keiko frowned worriedly. "You sure?"

Ayame shrugged, running a hand through her dark purple hair. "Might as well keep moving."

Keiko sighed, rubbing her _bindi _absentmindedly. "True. Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama wants us at the shrine by nightfall, to meet whoever she's sending to help us."

"Didn't she tell you who's coming?"

Keiko rolled her eyes. "No, Aya-chan, she didn't. Maybe if her favorite Crystal Carrier had been the one to meet her instead of little old me…"

Ayame snorted. "First of all, I'm the only Carrier. Secondly…"

"You're refusing to speak to her?"

"Yep."

"Aya-chan-"

"You're a former _miko_, Keiko, a priestess. I'm sure she'd rather see you than me."

Keiko sighed, not commenting on the fact that Aya was dodging the issue. "You _know_ that's not true."

"Whatever." Ayame stood up, brushing leaves out of her hair. "Let's just get going, okay? How much farther?"

The former priestess-turned-bodyguard glanced at their map. "Not very. Another hour walking, maybe?"

"Terrific."

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><p>"The shrine should be just up ahead." Hakkai said two hours later, after they'd driven through what seemed to be miles of forest.<p>

"About friggin' time." Gojyo muttered, lighting a cigarette.

"Will there be food there?" Goku asked eagerly.

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "It's an _abandoned_ shrine, you moron. What do you think?"

"Hey, Sanzo!" Goku leaned forward, not aswering Gojyo. "What're we goin' there for, anyway?"

"A mission. We're supposed to escort someone someplace."

"That's a little vague, isn't it?"

Sanzo shrugged.

"Ah, look." Hakkai pointed. "There it is."

They stopped in front of the shrine, though it was more of a small temple itself, really. One flat wooden building, looking rather rundown, was nestled amongst the trees, with a small dirt path leading to the entrance.

"I guess they're inside?" Goku offered.

"Hn." Sanzo stepped out of the jeep and started towards the building.

"Hello?" Gojyo called once they'd entered. "Anybody home?"

His voice echoed, reverberating off the walls.

"It seems to be empty." Hakkai observed. "Maybe they're running a little late?"

"No, we're here." A voice said.

They whirled, and saw a young woman leaning against the wall.

"I'm not going to attack you." she said in amusement, looking at their weapons. "I'm Keiko," she added, almost as an afterthought.

The Sanzo-ikkou looked her over. She looked to be in her early twenties, with long brown hair tied back for practicality's sake (she was a fighter now, after all) and dark brown eyes. She also had a purple diamond-shaped gem on her forehead, and was dressed simply, in a sweater and jeans.

"And you are?" Sanzo didn't lower his gun.

She snorted. "I told you. I'm Keiko. And you're Sanzo, right? Genjo Sanzo? We've been waiting for you."

He raised an eyebrow. "We?"

"Ayame is resting."

"Ayame?" Hakkia repeated.

"She's the one you're here to escort." Keiko pushed off from the wall and headed towards a door. "Follow me."

They trailed after her, entering a smaller room, where they found another person, buried underneath a blanket.

"Aya-chan?" Keiko went and kneeled down. "The Sanzo-ikkou are here."

"Ugh…" Ayame sat up, and looked over at the newcomers crossly. "I was napping, jerks."

Gojyo snorted. "What, you not get enough sleep or something?"

"Or something." she agreed, tossing the blanket aside. "Also, you're late."

"You're sort of a brat, aren't you?" Sanzo observed.

"I'm nineteen, asshole. 'Bitch' is the more age-appropriate term."

"Aya-cha, be nice." Keiko chided. "They came all the way here to help us."

"We only came because we were ordered to," Sanzo disagreed.

Ayame, nineteen, was slender and pale, and dressed in what seemed to be a sort of sleeveless kimono, light blue with red trim. Her hair was dark purple, and her eyes dark green. She also wore black Capri pants and Velcro strap sneakers.

"You look tired." Gojyo observed.

"I was woken up in the middle of my nap." she said pointedly, standing up. "Jerk."

Keiko sighed. "Ayame…"

"Fine. I'll play nice." She looked at Sanzo. "So, you're the famous Sanzo priest, huh?"

"Apparently."

"I'm not impressed."

He snorted. "Good."

"Um, if you don't mind my asking," Hakkai said, "Why exactly are we escorting you? Are you in some sort of danger?"

Keiko and Ayame exchanged a glance, and Ayame waved a hand at her friend. "You explain."

Keiko rolled her eyes, but obediently turned to face the Sanzo-ikkou. "Aya-chan is on…a pilgrimage, I suppose you could say."

Ayame snorted, but said nothing.

"We're on our way to a temple," Keiko continued, "Ayame's the…caretaker of …something important."

"That rather vague." Sanzo observed.

"It is." Ayame agreed, looking amused.

Keiko ignored them both. "It's imperative that we get this item to the temple in under two years."

"That's sort of specific timing." Gojyo noticed.

"It's a specific kind of situation." Ayame replied..

"Stop interrupting." Keiko snapped. "Jeez."

Ayame raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, fine. Whatever. Carry on."

Keiko huffed. "Anyway, this…item. It needs to be at the temple before then in order to prevent the release of-"

"Something unpleasant." Ayame interjected smoothly.

"Thought you were done interrupting," the Guardian accused.

"I lied," the Carrier answered unashamedly.

"You're unbelievable."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"What do you think of 'em?" Gojyo asked a little later as they were sitting around a small table for dinner while the two women were sitting in the smaller room.

"They're weird." Goku responded instantly. "But they seem nice," he added thoughtfully.

"Goku, Ayame called _herself_ a bitch."

Goku shrugged.

"I'm curious as to this 'item' they mentioned." Hakkai said, looking at Sanzo. "Do you have any idea what they were talking about?"

"No."

"What about the temple?" Gojyo asked.

"There are lots of temples in the world, moron."

"We should leave first thing in the morning." Keiko said, coming out of the room and over to their table.

"You're really in a hurry, aren't you?" Gojyo looked her over. _She's sorta hot. _

"Yes." she said shortly. "We're in a hurry."

"Is something wrong?" Hakkai asked.

She shook her head. "No more than usual."

"This item you're taking to the temple," Sanzo interrupted, "what is it?"

"Can't tell you." Ayame said, coming out of her room.

"Oh?" He arched an eyebrow.

She sat down and poured herself some tea. "It's none of your business."

"We're escorting you. I think we should know."

"Good for you. Thinking you're all that." She sipped her tea.

"You are a bitch, aren't you?"

"I did warn you." she reminded him, and then frowned.

"Ayame-san?" Hakkai asked. "Is the tea not to your liking?"

Ayame opened her mouth to answer, but was overcome by a sudden coughing fit.

"Aya!" Keiko was at her friend's side instantly.

Ayame doubled over, coughing muffled by her hand.

"Ayame-san?" Hakkai reached across the table, but Ayame batted him away with her free hand.

"Drink some water." Keiko said softly, offering her a canteen.

Ayame took it, and drank gratefully.

A long moment of silence descended once her coughing had subsided.

"Care to explain that?" Sanzo asked dryly.

"Not really." She answered curtly, rubbing her mouth with a napkin.

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><p><strong>AN: So…review, and let me know what you think. :D **

**(Also, worry not, phrases like "Carrier" and "Guardian" will be explained in time.)**

**(Oh, and sorry for the chapter being so short. But, well...yeah. XD.)  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so here's chapter 2 of Did You Find Joy?. The story itself never appeared under 'Just In' and the stats counter is down, so I don't know how many people even know about this story. Therefore, I'm posting chapter 2 ahead of schedule, in the hopes it might draw people in. :D Enjoy.**

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><p>They left the shrine the next morning, just after the sun rose. They all managed to fit into Hakuryuu-turned-Jeep, with Keiko and Ayame in the back with Gojyo and Goku.<p>

The first hour of travel was spent driving through to the other side fo the forest, and Ayame spent it sleeping, her head on Keiko's shoulder, while the Guardian chatted amicably with Goku and Gojyo, who seemed surprised by some of her revelations.

"You're a priestess?" Gojyo asked in shock.

She laughed. "Not anymore. I was a _miko_, but I quit."

"Quit?" Goku repeated curiously.

"It, ah…wasn't really a life I was suited for, apparently."

"Liar…" Ayame muttered.

Keiko smiled. "Go back to sleep, Aya."

"Mm…"

"Anyway," Keiko continued, "I gave it up, became a bounty hunter for bit-"

"_What?"_

"And then came here to China, where I met Aya-chan." she finished, ignoring the interruption.

"If you were a _miko_," Sanzo said, speaking for the first time since they'd left (aside from a "shut up, you bastards" when Gojyo had argued with Goku over who'd sit next to Keiko), "Why do you have a _shakujo_?"

"It's proper one, too." Hakkai observed, looking at the ringed staff Keiko had across her lap. "Not weird like Gojyo's."

"Oi." The redhead glared at his friend. "There's nothing wrong with my weapon."

"No, no, of course not. But as a _shakujo_ it's rather…odd."

"Only Buddhist priests or monks carry real _shakujo_," Sanzo said. "So either you're lying when you say you're a former _miko_, or you stole it."

" I didn't lie." Keiko replied, looking irritated.

"And she didn't steal it either." Ayame murmured. "The _shakujo_'s mine."

They all looked at her.

"What?" she demanded, raising her head. "It's mine. Got a problem with it?"

"You're a priestess, then?" Goku asked.

She snorted. "No fucking way."

"So why do you have it?" Sanzo pressed.

"She has it because it's hers." Keiko said crossly, glaring at him. "She's earned the right to carry it, okay?"

He snorted. "By doing what?"

Keiko opened her mouth to answer, looking furious, but Ayame touched her on the shoulder.

"Keiko, don't bother."

Her Guardian frowned at her. "But, Aya…"

"Don't tell them." Ayame said more firmly. "They don't need to know."

"Need to know what?" Goku asked curiously.

Ayame just looked at Keiko.

"….Nothing." The former _miko_ said grudgingly. "Nothing at all."

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><p>Ayame was glad they hadn't had to tell Sanzo-ikkou the whole truth. She didn't have a definite reason why, but still she was glad.<p>

_Maybe I don't want their pity_, she mused. _Or maybe I just want to ignore my situation for as long as possible. _

"Aya-chan?"

She turned, saw Keiko. "Yeah?"

"Time for lunch. Hakkai made stew."

Her stomach growled. "I'm actually hungry for once."

Keiko's face lit up. "That's a good sign."

"I guess."

"You need to keep your strength up." Keiko said, grabbing her by the elbow. "Come on, everyone's waiting."

"Brat, where the hell were you?" Gojyo demanded when she came into view.

"Out for a stroll." she answered flatly, sitting down on a tree stump.

"A stroll?" he repeated in disbelief.

She shrugged.

"Leave her alone." Keiko ordered, glaring at him.

"Can I chat with you instead?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Whether or not I'll feel obliged to murder you after you open your mouth."

"Isn't that a bit violent for a priestess?" Sanzo asked.

Keiko snorted. "Pot calling kettle, anyone?"

"What the hell are trying to imply?"

"I'm implying nothing. I'm just stating a fact. You're not exactly in the position to call me out on being violent."

"Hmph."

"Well, shall we eat?" Hakkai handed them bowls of stew.

Hakkai observed the two women during the meal, trying to figure out what to make of them. Ayame was mostly silent, occasionally answering a question Goku or Gojyo had asked but otherwise focusing on her food. Keiko on the other hand, was sort of all over the place in terms of behaviour. She'd be friendly towards Goku, polite towards him, and seemed content to playfully argue with Gojyo. She virtually ignored Sanzo, though, and Hakkai couldn't help but notice that even while she was talking to one of them, her main focus seemed to be Ayame. She watched her friend eat with a worried expression, and seemed to be incredibly intent on how much (or rather, how little) Ayame was eating.

He wondered at that, right up until Ayame started gagging.

"Aya!" Keiko dropped her own bowl, long since empty, and rushed to her friend's side.

"Mmph!" Ayame clapped both hands over her mouth, stifling her violent coughs.

"Is the food not to your liking?" Hakkai asked, concerned.

Ayame shook her head. "It's delicious," she gasped, before doubling over.

"Your reaction doesn't really convey that." Sanzo observed dryly.

"Shut the hell up," she growled, and then resumed hacking her lungs up.

The priest opened his mouth to say something else, but Keiko grabbed the nearest rock and chucked it at his head.

"What the hell was that for?" he demanded.

"Being an asshole!" she snarled.

"Perhaps we should save this fight until after Ayame-san has recovered?" Hakkai suggested.

Keiko quickly turned back to Ayame. "Aya?"

The young woman shuddered, but her coughing subsided. "I'm…I'm fine…Kick his ass."

Keiko laughed, but it was a shaky sound. "Maybe later. Right now I'm-"

"More worried about me." Ayame finished for her. "But you know as well as I do…there's nothing to be done for this." She waved a hand at herself.

Sanzo raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. _What the hell are they hiding?_

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><p><strong>AN: Okie-dokie, so…These chapters are pretty short, for which I apologize. But writing this story is harder than I anticipated. I'm trying to build up to a scene that I've already written, and it's kinda hard. My instinct is to just hurry and get there, you know? So that scene'll probably be in the next chapter. In any case, review please!**

**Oh, what else...I've also updated my other fics, Lorelai, Camelot Academy, and The Child, just in case any readers of those happen to be here reading this. I only mention it because the alerts system's been glitching lately, so some people don't know the stories are updated. **

**Also, I've started a forum called The Roadhouse. You can advertise your story/forum/community/etc, ask for some more reviews on a story of yours, or just hang around and talk to some cool people. There's even talk of starting some RPs. "Anything goes" is rapidly becoming our motto. :D So drop by and say hello!**

**(For directions on how to get to the Roadhouse, head over to my profile.)  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okie-dokie, well, there's an important revelation in this chapter. I was planning on dragging it out across more chapters and stuff but….I got impatient, I suppose. XD**

**Also…..REVIEW, PLEASE! Seriously. Reviewing won't hurt you. I swear. :D **

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><p>They spent the next two weeks traveling through the forest. Strangely, they weren't attacked once during this time. Of course, that wasn't going to last.<p>

"Sanzo, I'm hungry!"

_Thwack._

"Guess that settles that, then." Keiko said mildly. She'd steadily become accustomed to the antics of the Sanzo-_ikkou_, though it had been a significant adjustment; she was used to having only Aya for company.

Aya, though, hadn't quite settled comfortably into their new situation; she seemed content to simply put up with how things were, making very little effort to get along with the others. Keiko, of course, knew that the main reason was her…condition. It made her opposed to making personal connections with others. Of course, it didn't help that the group, Sanzo in particular, seemed extremely keen on ferreting out their exact mission. Which Ayame refused to tell them.

"So, where are we going, exactly?" Gojyo asked, for what seemed like the millionth time, when they stopped for a break.

"A temple." Ayame said, just like she always did.

"And this temple is…?"

"None of your business." She answered curtly.

He sighed dramatically. "And here I was hoping to get at some of your secrets."

At that, Ayame went from answering in short sentences to answering with silence.

They were about to get back in the jeep when suddenly a horde of monster erupted out of the bushes. They resembled huge furry lizards.

"What the hell are these?" Gojyo demanded, slicing two of them in half.

"Demon-spawn!" Keiko snarled, slamming one in the head with the _shakujo_ before tossing the staff to Aya, who was surrounded.

"Demon? You mean, like youkai?" Goku asked, sending four monsters flying.

"No, they're nothing like youkai." Aya said, dodging a monster's swipe. "Demons are like youkai in that they're individual intelligent beings. But while youkai are just like people," she jumped over a monster and whacked it on the head, "demons work only towards their own goals of destruction."

"They're evil and bloodthirsty!" Keiko added, slamming her dagger into the throat of the monster trying to chew her arm off.

"They seem pretty weak for an embodiment of evil." Sanzo drawled, firing his gun.

"Ah, well, that's because they're not demons." A laughing voice declared.

They spun around, and saw what appeared to be a young humanoid man leaning against a tree. He was tall and thin, and dressed entirely in black. The most striking feature, however, was his eyes; orange irises, and black sclera. "Those little things aren't demons, kiddo. I am~" He pointed a finger at himself, grinning widely.

"What a creeper." Ayame muttered.

Sanzo snorted, which she took as agreement.

"Ah! You're the Carrier!" He pointed at her. "I've been looking all over for you."

She didn't answer.

"What? No cheerful hello?" He pouted.

"Fuck off." she snarled.

He smirked and then vanished.

The next thing they knew, the demon had tackled Keiko, and was about to stab his hand into her chest when Aya darted forward and slammed her _shakujo_ across his back. He snarled and leapt away. Ayame pursued him, and whacked him across the face. She was about to stab him through the chest with the unadorned end when she felt the beginnings of a coughing fit creep up on her. She jumped back as the demon reached out to grab her, touching her fingers to her lips. They came away red.

"Why not just let me kill you now?" the demon purred. "It'll save you the trouble of dying later on."

"No thanks." She turned to walk away as Sanzo reloaded his gun, wiping the blood from her mouth.

"Do your friends know?" the demon asked suddenly. "What it is you're doing?"

She froze.

"Ah~ So they don't know." He laughed, a high pitched screeching sound. "Perhaps I should tell them?"

"Can you shoot him now, please?" Ayame asked, her voice strained.

"She's in a hurry to get going, isn't she? But I think you fine gentlemen deserved the truth."

"Shoot that bastard!" she hissed.

"Come now, they deserve to know that you're-"

Keiko tackled the demon, slamming him to the ground. She followed it up by stabbing him through the chest with a _naginata_ she'd summoned from thin air, destroying him.

Ayame turned back around without a word, and started walking, not looking back. Slowly, they followed her, until they reached the clearing where they'd made camp. Ayame had stopped walking and was just standing in the middle of the clearing.

"Care to tell us what that loser was talking about?" Gojyo asked.

_Now's as good a time as any, I suppose. _"I won't make it to my twenty-first birthday," she said quietly.

Gojyo frowned. "What do you mean?"

Keiko looked upset. "Aya, you don't-"

"They deserve to know." Ayame told her, still in that quiet voice.

"So tell us." Sanzo said flatly. "What's going on."

She took a deep breath, and looked past them, at something none of them could see.

"I'm dying."

The silence was overwhelming, then…"Dying?" Goku looked startled. "What're you talking about?"

"I'm dying." She repeated, and then sighed. "I am the Crystal Carrier."

"Which means what, exactly?" Sanzo asked.

"I am the only person who can carry the Phoenix Crystal. It's an ancient artifact," she explained, seeing their blank expressions, "A jewel, that comes from the Temple of Rebirth, where we're headed." She sat down on the ground, picking up a handful of leaves. "The Carrier is a unique individual. The Crystal is absorbed into their body once they find it. It's the only way for it…stay stable, I suppose. Otherwise it gives off energy, and this energy attracts…well, monsters, I suppose." She looked up, smiling sadly. "That's how I met Keiko. I was compelled to find the Crystal, but I hadn't yet. I was close to it, but I was attacked. Keiko saved me."

The Guardian kicked the ground, not saying anything.

"In any case," Ayame continued, "I absorbed the Crystal, and spent the next five days unconscious, recuperating….And when I woke up, Kanzeon Bosatsu appeared, saying we had to start a journey to the Temple of Rebirth immediately." She sighed. "There's a monster sealed away in the heart of the temple," she informed them. "And the seal is starting to break. Only with the Crystal's power can the seal be re-made." She lined up several leaves in a row.

"But re-making the seal requires the Carrier to expel the Crystal from their body." Keiko said angrily.

"I don't understand." Hakkai said, looking at Ayame. "What happens to you without the crystal?"

"I die." she said bluntly, tearing up a leaf. "Once bonded, the Carrier cannot live without the Crystal."

"So just don't go." Gojyo suggested. "You'll live then, right?"

"You're ignoring the monster." Ayame pointed out, looking back down at the leaves. "If the seal breaks and it goes free, thousands of people will die." She moved one of the leaves down and started making another row.

"But you'll live."

"No. I'll be just as dead." She tossed away a yellow leaf.

"Now what the hell are you talking about now?" Sanzo demanded.

"Terminal illnesses are a pain in the ass." She said in a rather detached way, sorting through her newest handful of leaves.

"You're sick?" Goku asked.

"Yes and no." She frowned at a leaf covered in moss. "The longer I have the crystal in my body while it's needed elsewhere, the worse I'll get. And if the seal breaks entirely while the crystal's still in my body, I'll die." She picked up a twig and nudged at a caterpillar crawling onto her first row of leaves. "I don't survive either way, you see. The seal is going to break apart fully four days before my twenty-first birthday. So whether I surrender the crystal and sacrifice myself before then, or run away and have the crystal tear itself from my body when the seal is broken…it doesn't make any difference. I won't make it." She swiped at her rows of leaves, scattering them. The only leaf left was the one being eaten by the caterpillar. "I'll die."

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, so…yeah. I was planning to draw it out more, and make you wonder what was up with Aya, but…I figured it'd better for her to tell them and have them knowing about it and sympathetic (in their own jerk-ass ways, of course XD) then to have them keep going w/out her telling them, because from the logical standpoint, they'd be uber-pissed for being kept in the dark. In any case, there's still lots more adventure in the future. **

**Hmm, what else...oh yeah! *snaps fingers* That's right! **

**PLEASE REVIEW. XD  
><strong>


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